happy christmas eve day

set about the house to do domestic slavey type work. lord, im tired. thank you muches, erica for the E, E7, and E minor chords. made my fucking day. for whatever reason i was really introspective for a few hours this morning.. i kept thinking about my future, and why the fuck im here in the first place ( maybe thats existential ), and whether or not i should be a fatalist, and blame all my shortcomings and problems on a higher power, or fate. and then, of course, spurns thoughts on nihilism, and anarchy, and how you cant be an anarchist if there are a whole bunch of anarchists being anarchists together. completely defeats the purpose of anarchy, all together. hanukkah-ness last night was fun. ish. i got the thrice CD, jumping my CD count by three since hanukkah started. *yawns* and i have to pretend to be amused tonight when my cousin comes over. dont get me wrong, hes adorable and all, being 3, but seriously, him not being able to pronounce my name is cute for the first 5 million times. everything after that is just annoyance. "oh, look at that! he STILL cant say kayli! awwwwwwwwwww" my family finds me to be a kick. im not. if anything, im a kick in the ass. they expect me to be perfection, when all i really want is to not have to live up to anything, or be anyones dream child. whatever. im leaving for college soon anyways. i can live with being idolized for the next 3 1/2 years.